Monday, July 20, 2009

POLITICS: The Oppressed White Man

It's a damn shame what they did to the white man.

After centuries of nurturing men and women of all ethnicities, welcoming with open-arms the wide mosaic of skin colors and accents that have come to our shores, and putting the needs and desires of others before theirs, the poor, maltreated white man is, inexplicably, being oppressed once again by the vindictive, vicious minority rulers of our great country.

We watched again this week this deplorable humiliation when Supreme Court nominee Queen – nay, Czarina! – Sonia Sotomayor brow-beat and humiliated half a dozen white public servants when they attempted, graciously, honorably, and with utter deference to Sotomayor, to ask her a few modest questions about a couple of things she has said in speeches over the course of her career. These poor downtrodden Senators didn't dare venture into asking Judge/Supreme Latina Sotomayer about the actual legal cases she has decided over the past 17 years on the bench — the Senators didn't dare, for fear of the judge's obvious wrath and disdain. (And after all white men had done for her throughout her life — the sheer ingratitude!)

Even Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, known for his life-long dedication to helping minority men advance their professional careers (Sessions feels so strongly about this that he sometimes refers to such men as his own "boy") and for his dogged attempts to eradicate the vermin strain of white supremicists known as the Pot-Smoking Ku Klux Klan, could only muster the courage to ask Sotomayor two questions for fear of what horrible fate might befall him before such a legal bully. Sessions tried heroically, asking the same questions over and over again and again, but to no avail: Sotommayor would only condescend to make obviously insincere apologies, speaking slowly and deliberately as if she thought Sessions (and other Senators) might not understand the words she spoke. Oh why must white men of good heart and true cause be so publically belittled!

Senator after Senator, steering clear of the monstrous Sotomayor's actual legal decisions — god knows what she might have done had they concentrated on those! — fell victim to her superior Latina demeanor and status. Because these brave, brave white men have been able to completely sublimate their own backgrounds and experiences and act, time and time again, only in the best interest of the most oppressed of our American brothers and sisters, this judicial hearing proved once again that despite all of their efforts, despite their decades and centuries of selflessness and dedication to the common good, white men simply cannot get ahead in America. The minority ruling class in this country simply will not allow white men a place at the table — not even a fair chance at succeeding in this great country.

Maybe what we need today, after all these years, is some kind of Affirmative Action for white men. But good luck getting something like that past a Supreme Court that will now have TWO women, an African American man, and only six white men.

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